Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Eden's Children

Let's set aside the fact, for a moment, that I don't know from memory all of my nieces and nephews' birthdays or, necessarily, their middle names.

I want to talk about my friends' children.

I have friends with children. (Note: This is a partial list, designed to target a specific subset of friends, my former Eden roommates, whose whereabouts and burgeonings I'm really, I'm realizing, behind on.)

Some I knew about:




and, of course, Sam and Kyle's famous Kate and Owen

Some, however, I did not know about:

it turns out--see but you have to scroll down a few entries

(See ridiculously beautiful picture at top of blog.)

And some are predicted but not yet arrived:

Vera Jewell

The Bun

AND Jasmine and Arthur's GIRL! (This is news to me. Thank heavens for the peer pressure that Jasmine succumbed to.)

This is what I want to say:

I think that we should seriously consider some kind of forum for us to gather these children together and let me meet them (and, for instance, meet Arthur and, too, re-see some of you, aka all of you, I haven't seen since, for instance, I got bangs). It's true--do you remember?--that BYU has some sort of a pretty baby contest each year as part of homecoming festivities. (Doesn't it? Did anyone ever go or pay attention to that? I always figured it was a No,-Wymount,-you-really-are-part-of-this-community sort of activity.) But I'm thinking it's time for us to have our own baby beauty contest.

To make it a fairer fight--let's be honest, so-and-so's baby really is the cutest--we can add other categories. Frothiest Gurgling, Realest Fake Laugh, Looks Most Like His/Her Mom, Longest Stay-Awaker, Best Kisser. Something. I'll take suggestions.

And to judge, we can maybe have those of us who still don't have children (read, single aka situationally barren) do the judging, since we're dispassionate, independent, and, the good men tell us, needing to serve.

What say? We can gather in Utah. (Everyone still has family there, yes?) Or crash Sam and Kyle's place in Las Vegas (to take advantage of the stays-in-Vegas cheap hotel rates). (Sam and Kyle, you do still live in Vegas, yes?)

And, while we're trying to sort this all out (yes, Juice, you can come, too, despite your not having ever visited us in Eden--or did you? Phil, Rebecca, your spouses--you all count, too), I want us to consider the irony/appropriateness of this: We lived in Eden. We left. Some of you got pregnant. Which thing the prophets foretold. See 2 Ne 2:22-24, Moses 5:11.

(Also consider: You used to come home to me, and now you come home to them. It's true, I don't have a lot to offer you that's better than they are so as to fight for a place to stay in your heart. I, like them, may have kept you up with my crying, may have asked you to wash my undergarments, may have spat Cheerios and apple sauce your floor (sometimes we would laugh and eat at the same time, remember?), may have wanted you to open an Otter Pop for me and scratch my back. But in all the time we lived together and/or have been friends, I have never, never, never required that you suck the mucus out of my nose with one of those squeezy tubey things. I'm just, just saying.)


Autumn and Barrett said...

I have a few things to say to this.

First, you have been blogging since 2004? Way to be driving the Band Wagenen that Jasmine (along with the rest of us) is now boarding.

Second, yes there is a Homecoming baby contest and I know because Henry won once. And I am not too proud to admit to entering him.

Third, some categories to consider in our own contest: most toes, most fat rolls, most trips to the emergency room. I feel my children could excel in two of these. Can you guess which?

Finally, So good to see your lovely face and hope to do so in a more three dimensional way soon.

Sarah Louise said...

Please, please tell me that your children had extra toes when they were born.

PLEASE. (Also, as soon as I have kids, that will be my new two-truths-and-a-lie lie.)

Jacki said...

Once on my way out Sam looked at me very seriously and said, "Jacki, if you leave Eden you will get pregnant and you will feel pain." Such insight. I vote for a Utah pow-wow. Although Vegas and California are also good options.

Also, my cousin's husband is starting Stanford law.

Autumn and Barrett said...

The answer to your question is on our first (second?) April entry. As my doctor put it, "that's weird, huh?"

Rebecca said...

Henry really won? We needed blogs back then--what was Autumn going to do, send a 'mass text' or a 'group email'? Some other form of outdated communication? SLO--do I get to see you for real in a week?

Samantha said...

What in the world??? Sarah! I didn't know you had a blog! You've been here all along. If onlly i'd have known you were a few clicks away all this time.

I would be ALL IN for a get together. Utah or Vegas. Just tell me when.

And I'm not sure which contests my babies would win. Maybe loudest burps... or biggest nastiest spitups. I can't wait to catch up and read all your blog.

Laura said...

What a crowd - I am so happy to be included.

Ok, so I am totally in for a reunion of some sorts somewhere. Utah or Las Vegas would be easiest (my parents now live in St. George), and though my purse is empty, my heart would find a way to get there.

Also, some other possible categories: best facial expression when told by a parent "no thank you, we do not poke our friends in the eye," best given excuse for not wanting to bathe ("but I am not stinky or smelly!"), and best mispronunciation of any given word.

Now, being as Jacob is the oldest, I am giving myself a slight advantage in these categories - but I can only imagine Henry excelling at any of these too.

To finish - I love you. All of you.