I'm in the midst of studying for the bar (I'm trying, I really am trying), but there have been births and deaths and the long-awaited delivery of twins, with one live and one stillborn. A birth and a death, I guess. There are weddings to attend to (invitations, RSVPs, gifts, and receptions), still-pending births and past and coming birthdays to celebrate, visiting teaching to do, home teaching to be done to, and Relief Society lessons to plan, prepare for, and pray over.
There are cars that overheat, friends who are sick, molasses cookies that are too cakey (too cakey, even on a second try--what would do that?), and fruits/veggies that need to be bought so I will eat them and not the too-cakey molasses cookies. (Or any of the other sweet treats that fill our kitchen. At this exact moment in time, our kitchen holds chocolate chip cookie bites, freshly homemade chocolate chip cookies, Milano cookies, some strawberry-plum pie, and a secret stash of Skittles that MH is ready to break out when we need them. I am studying in the library today.) And Palo Alto is beautiful, and I'm leaving here soon, and there are only so many more hours I can spend on my favorite blanket in my favorite spot in my favorite park.
I'm trying to pray earnestly and make good decisions well and be close to the Spirit and to the people around me. I'm having even more trouble with those who are far away. But my prayers are harried, restless, list-y, and heartfelt. And I was called to action, to arms, by reading again or for the first time Elder Maxwell's 1995 talk, "Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father" and Elder Holland's "The Grandeur of God," except really I should stop reading their articles, stop blogging about them, and shut my computer down and study like a mad woman.
All of this is to say that this is actually being a tender time and a holy time, when, of course, it's not being a straight-up stressful and there-is-work-needing-to-get-done time.
I'd tell a joke here to show that I'm not feeling dour and to lighten the mood, but for the life of me, I can't think of anything funny.
(Juice? I've always thought juice was funny. It's like fruit blood. And we drink it. Imagine: a pen filled with juice. Oh man. Still, after all these years, I think it's funny.)
My mom's family letter of yesterday, which usually would end with a rallying "do good, be good" admonition, ended with this: "Have a faithful, happy day, or fill up your gas tanks and gather your armies and know that you are loved."
Let's review the options.
1. Have a happy, faithful day, ORI think I can handle that. At least one of the two. (Ha. It just struck me. Multiple choice is right up my alley these days.)
2. Fill up your gas tanks, gather your armies, and know that you are loved.
My heart is with all of you who are also feeling like choosing the second.
4 comments:
Sarahlicious, you are wonderful,and I can be glad that you can't leave a place without it being tender, becfause you invest. You invest yourself in people and things and places and so it will always be leaving parts of you behind (and that is painful) but I suppose theey grow into beautiful new forests of you all around. These are the things I have to apologizefor: I have had your order for graduation pictures for several weeks. Should I just buy a grundle of them? should I forward the nice little pile of mail that I have of yours, or do you mind getting a blast from the past when you get here? I alwyas want to call you at absurdly early morning hours, and have to restrain myslef, and since the buildup of lactase during the day must affect my brain, I can't seem to make a decent daytime call. I love you. I picked up pieces of shingles and put them into bags today and I found an explosion of worms that must like the layery piles and so I picked them up to put into the compost heap. Who knew that worms lip all around when uncovered---oooooh. Love you. Mom
Sarahlicious, you are wonderful,and I can be glad that you can't leave a place without it being tender, becfause you invest. You invest yourself in people and things and places and so it will always be leaving parts of you behind (and that is painful) but I suppose theey grow into beautiful new forests of you all around. These are the things I have to apologizefor: I have had your order for graduation pictures for several weeks. Should I just buy a grundle of them? should I forward the nice little pile of mail that I have of yours, or do you mind getting a blast from the past when you get here? I alwyas want to call you at absurdly early morning hours, and have to restrain myslef, and since the buildup of lactase during the day must affect my brain, I can't seem to make a decent daytime call. I love you. I picked up pieces of shingles and put them into bags today and I found an explosion of worms that must like the layery piles and so I picked them up to put into the compost heap. Who knew that worms lip all around when uncovered---oooooh. Love you. Mom
Glad that the SIGG bottle got a little show-time in the pic!
It's my new best friend. It bailed me out of an overheated car the other day. I used it to trek water back and forth from a park drinking fountain to my empty coolant container. I thought it deserved to be memorialized for being helpful--and for being cool.
Polka dots and flamingos. Awesome.
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